Cops Smash ‘Girls Aloud’ Kidnap Plot

Armed police today swooped in on a house in Bournemouth where a dramatic dawn raid took place to arrest a 34 year old man on charges of Conspiracy To Kidnap Girls Aloud.

The mans name is Denzil Mobius has a long history of mental illness. His brother Dweezil told a national tabloid that Denzil made no secret of his plans to kidnap members of pop group Girls Aloud, but denied that his brother intended to kill the pop babes.

The mans brother, Dweezil told us that Denzil planned to kidnap the band members, anesthetizing them and disabling their vocal cords by cutting them with sharp scissors. He went on to say that the bands so-called music caused his brother to suffer convulsions of revulsion which could be quite disturbing to witness.

“He just wanted to shut them up for ever,” Dweezil told us. “To do the world a service by putting a stop to that bloody awful caterwauling.“

Sound like a bad dream? Well thankfully for all Girls Aloud fans, it was just that. This story was courtesy of TheSpoof.com.